White

White- For Purity from the Journey 

          One of the many perks of living in the wonderful state of Ohio is that I was able to visit many historical church sites throughout my youth. Nauvoo was one of the amazing places that I grew to know and love well. 

          When I was going through a really difficult time right before I graduated from High School, I was able to go to Nauvoo for a Youth Conference. I knew that summer would be my last one in my beloved Ohio not only because I would be going away to college, but because my family had fallen apart. 

          As I visited the places were dedicated early members of the church lived and loved life, I felt such a deep connection to them (come to find out later, that I have ancestors who lived there and crossed the plains in the Exodus West). Learning about what they went through and how much they were willing to sacrifice truly touched my heart. They were willing to leave everything behind because they knew the church was true. They knew what the Lord wanted them to do and they were willing to do it. I felt so strengthened by their amazing example! If they could leave everything behind, so could I. 

          Before I had been wondering why God was putting me through this, but as I walked the old paths of Nauvoo I realized that I was grateful. The path had been hard and it would only get harder. But I felt renewed in the knowledge that as long as I was following the Lord's path, it would be worth it. That even though it would be a heart wrenching and back breaking trek, that everything would be ok. 

         Later that summer on our way to Utah, my mom and I stopped in Nauvoo. We saw this statue below of two tender parents helping their young child learning to walk. I realized in that moment that this is exactly like our earthly life. For a brief moment, we are out of the safe embrace of our loving Heavenly Father and Mother. But they are there waiting to catch us! Learning to walk through all of the trials of this life if not easy, but it was not designed to be easy. It may seem like a punishment from God at times. But in reality, these tests are an everlasting witness of His undying love for us. He loves us enough to let us learn. He loves us enough to let us fall. And He loves us enough to never leave our side. 

"Yes, my fretting,

Frowning child,

I could cross

The room to you

More easily.

But I’ve already

Learned to walk,

So I make you

Come to me.

Let go now

There!

You see?

Oh, remember

This simple lesson,

Child,

And when

In later years

You cry out

With tight fists

And tears

“Oh, help me,

God—please.”

Just listen

And you’ll hear

A silent voice:

“I would, child,

I would.

But it’s you,

Not I,

Who needs to try

Godhood.”"

        This poem was shared by someone that I really look up to and who understands a lot of what I've been through. I had to share it as well! It goes along perfectly with the feelings I've had and the point that I've tried to articulate.

        I know that as we learn to walk in this life that we will be made pure as we learn Godliness. 

       Again, it won't be easy. But it will be worth it. And when we make it back to our loving Father's arms, white and pure like Him, we will thank Him for giving us the journey. The journey that helped us learn and grow. 

Red

Red-for the Savior, for His Blood

During this Easter Season I am reminded again of how grateful I am for my Savior, Jesus Christ. He truly lived, suffered, died, and rose again For Us. What an amazing miracle!

And lo, he shall suffer temptations, and pain of body, hunger, thirst, and fatigue, even more than man can suffer, except it be unto death; for behold, blood cometh from every pore, so great shall be his anguish for the wickedness and the abominations of his people.

Mosiah 3:7

I'd like to share a journal entry from 8-14-12, a time that really helped me to understand that the Savior really understands me perfectly. That He suffered more than I can comprehend and He suffered specifically for me and specifically for you.

"I can't quite explain how it feels to be betrayed. Father...the man who brought me to this earth and for a time loved me in word and deed...until it all became a show that he didn't know was performing through his body. He had rehearsed the lines and practiced the motions so many times that the script became his reality. He couldn't even realize that behind the set stage was an empty room.  All of the actors and props had been laid out for the audience to see; but behind it all, where his real fans waited on the sidelines he left nothing...nothing but an

empty room.

"Great Show!"

audience members say as they walk out and new ones excitedly rush in. But we stand there feeling numb; drowning in the hypocrisy and facade. Even though we want to strangle to stand in wife and children...we just stand and smile...nodding. 

"Yes" we say through hollow throats throbbing as they fill with blood. 

"Yes" this time with a gurgle.

"It's just great..."

But as countless audiences marvel at this spectacular man our bodies slowly fill with the blood of betrayal. Our capillaries, veins, arteries, vena cava, ventricles, aorta, and our entire heart burst with a sudden pulse...and then we know... me must leave--but it seems too late as the blood fills our body and starts to leak.

Out of Ever Pore. 

But while we're dripping and covered in the crimson drops of agony the audience passes by and says

"Great Show!" with even more vigor than before. 

It seems like an eternity that we stand there bleeding, but no one can see. Our blood is invisible even as it stains-her soul-my soul-everything. 

But the He comes.

When He walks up to us I see that He is--

Bleeding from Every Pore.

Just like her.

Just like me.

And He too is invisible to the audience.

Only those who Bleed at Every Pore can see Him.

But even as He drips with crimson pain, His clothes are White and He says,

"Come, Follow me",

softly, as He bleeds and bleeds. Just like her-just like me. And I see scarlet tears seep from His eyes because He Bled from Every Pore and understands her and me. And I feel my own red tears fall because He came.

He finally came.

As He leads us out of that hollow theater, the audience gasps in shock.

"How could you leave?! It's such a great show!"

"Yes" we say and bleed and bleed, He, She, and Me,

"Yes, but that's what it is--a show"

And we walk away, their burning eyes bore into our bleeding backs but all they see are fools when they view the wise. And most of all they fail to see the bleeding man in pure White leading us step by step. 

Because only they that Bleed from Every Pore can see this man. 

She and me. We follow Him. 

Because He cried for us and bleeds for us. 

And as we leave our clothes turn white, just like His. 

He set us free and we never have to go back to that empty room if we follow Him. 

He lives and He loves us. I know it. I have felt His presence in my life. When I never thought I could feel ok again, He led me back to the light. I know that He can and is waiting to do the same for each and every one of us if we will just heed His call to us "Come, Follow Me". 

In this Easter season, may we remember Him and all that He has done for us.

Mosiah 16:6-9